Burger Hell
by yourmotheronafridaynight
Summary: Burger King, high school, and Kakashi; but lately, it seems as though the only thing Naruto can think about is Kakashi. LEMON TEIMS, gay babies, and swearing, you'll never have to leave your computer again. You're welcome.
1. Chapter 1

**Burger Hell**

**Chapter One: The Lemon Song  
**

_

* * *

Kakashi opened his mouth and let out a long breath, causing the hair on the back of my neck to rise. I felt his tongue creep out of his mouth, moving across the side of my neck. Warmth, until he closed his mouth and pulled away, leaving a streak of saliva on my skin for the air to cool. _

_ I let out a small sigh, causing the grown man to chuckle, his mouth still close enough to make the wet spot on my neck tingle from the short breaths that followed his small laughter. He moved his head up a bit and gave my ear one small quick lick. I instinctively moved my head closer to him, repositioning my body for easier access. He placed his right hand on my lower back, and his left hand under my ass, lifting me unto his lap. _

_Kakashi let out a small chuckle when I mewed. I circled my arms around his neck, resting my forehead on his. His left hand moved from my ass to my side, pulling up my shirt, I let out a small gasp as the cold air attacked my skin. Kakashi gently maneuvered my orange shirt over my head, throwing it against the opposing car window, laying me down on the seat of the front of the truck, crawling over me. I let out a small moan as he moved his head down to the side of my head, taking the lobe of my ear in his mouth, gently nipping it with his teeth, wetting it with his tongue. I placed my hands on his stomach, lifting up his sweatshirt and sneaking my hands under it, gently feathering my fingers over his stomach. The muscles in his abs contracted under my fingers, making me smile. When I did this, Kakashi's nips became a bit rougher, his breath a bit heavier, making my grin become larger. I pulled my hands from underneath his sweatshirt, and pushed his body to the side of the seat, causing him and I to switch places. He grinned as pulled off the clothing covering his upper body. The work shirt, sweatshirt, and scarf were torn away, exposing everything. I pinned his arms down and abrasively kissed him. I soon tore my lips away from his mouth, making him frown. I nipped his chin, running my tongue down his neck, only hesitating to leave a small bite on his collar bone. I slowly began to make my way down to his stomach when he let out a grunt. He sat up, my mouth still on his abdomen. He put his hand on the bottom of his chin, lifting my head up. "You go first." He said as he gently pushed me back onto the seat, struggling with the fly on my jeans. _

"Naruto." I turned in my bed. "NARUTO. IT'S ALREADY SIX TWENTY." I let out a groan, acknowledging my mother's attempt to wake me. Such a good dream, and it had to end. I sat up, scratched my head, and threw the covers to the side of the bed. Looking down at my crotch, I knew I had a problem. "Fuck." For real? Again? I have to deal with this? I squinted and looked down at my scrotum, very noticeable under my orange linen pajama pants. "Down boy. Down." I shook my head, and let out a frustrated sigh. I swung my feet over the bed, and limped over to my bed room door. " I'll be dressed in a few minutes." I yelled to my mother down the hallway. She gave a short "Okay." And walked to the stairs and strode down to the kitchen, humming. My door gave a soft click as I shut it.

"So fucking cheery in the morning." I mumbled as I searched under my bed for the pack of Marlboro Red 100's I had stashed the night before. I shoved a pair of shoes, an empty diet Pepsi can, and school book to the side before I found them. I opened the half empty pack, pulled out my lighter and a cigarette while I walked over to my bedroom window. I opened the screenless window, put a cigarette between my lips and lit it.

This is my morning ritual, well normally it didn't involve an erection, but, recently, one of my coworkers, well, manager actually, has caught my eye. I don't even think he's gay. Well, I don't even think I'm gay. I just, I just like him. And now, here I am, leaning out my window, smoking a cigarette, having to be careful of my erection. I would take care of it any other time. It's just too messy, and I have too little time.

Once I finished my cigarette, the blood in my body had balanced out, leaving me a bit more comfortable, and a little less wound up. I left my window open while I changed, to let my room air out. I threw clothes around my bedroom floor, attempting to find an outfit that was clean. My old Levi's that I'd had for two years and plain black t-shirt were the only things I could find. I struggled getting on the tight, torn jeans, but the t-shirt glided over my head easily. I grabbed my white high-tops, so old; they looked grey, and forced my feet into them, not bothering with socks. I shoved books into my back pack. I put on deodorant and shut my window. Practically running, I went downstairs and said bye to my stepmother, and went outside to wait for the bus.

* * *

As soon as I got off the bus after school, I ran up to my bedroom. I plopped on the bed and tore off my shoes, letting out a sigh of relief. I closed my bedroom door, reached under my bed, and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I only had eight left. "I'm going to need to give Perv Face a call. Maybe he can get me some more. Bleurgh." I scrawled over to my bedroom window, opened it, leaned out, and lit my cigarette.

I let my upper torso hang over the window ledge while I finished smoking the small cylinder. I left my window open and walked back to my bed. I leaned over and snatched my work clothes off the floor, throwing them on the corner of my mattress, taking off my own shirt. I threw it, and my pants, on the floor, causing the mountainous formation in my room grow in height by an inch or so. I sat down and pulled my black work shirt down, over my head, standing up once again to pull on my pants. Once I had finished dressing, I walked over, shut my window, left my room, and went downstairs to say goodbye to my mother and leave to go to work.

Once I had arrived at Burger King, I parked in the back of the lot, heading to the dumpsters to smoke a cigarette before I clocked in. I grabbed my flannel and my Ipod, shutting the cardoor with a loud thump. I sat on the ground, pulling the pack of Marlboros out of my pocket, pulled one out, and lit it. I shoved them back into the unflattering black pants, and looked at my Ipod. I continued to click the next button until I found "The Lemon Song" be Led Zeppelin and put it on repeat. Eventually, my cigarette shrunk down to the filter and I put it out and went inside.

I still had my ear phones in, Robert Plant singing sweet notes in my ears. I was so distracted, I didn't notice Kakashi was standing right next to me smiling, while I clocked in. I wouldn't have minded, If I wasn't humming loudly. Very loudly. And out of tune. I didn't even notice he was there until he lent over me, took the ear bud out of my left ear, and stuck it in his. "'The Lemon Song' eh? Sexy." He chuckled and pulled the ear bud out, placing it back in my ear. I blushed, nodded, and faced the floor, feeling the shame of having a horrible humming voice. Kakashi chuckled again, took a few steps back and held his arms in the air.

His left hand curled and held about two feet away from his other hand, he tiltled his head downwards. Then, he let out an abrupt scream, frightening the elderly folks in the dining room, and began thrashing his right arm in an oscillating motion, pretending to strum a guitar. "Squeeze my, squeezeee my lemon, baby, baby, baby, b-b-baby, till the juice runs down my leg. I don' want you to squeeze it so hard baby. Mercy mercy-eh yeah." Kiba proceeded to yell from the kitchen "Did I just hear a cat being rapped? I'm pretty sure I heard a cat being rapped. Kakashi, you might want to call the shelter." Kakashi picked up a handful of fries from the heating tray, suavely walked to the kitchen and shoved them down Kiba's shirt. Kiba threw his arms in to air and wriggled his torso about, shaking the fries out of his clothing; Kakashi looked at him and grinned. "Aw Keebs, look at the mess you just made." "Fuck you Kakshi. " Kakashi let out a bellow of laughter, followed by Kiba's high pitched squeaks of amusement, and went to get the broom. I walked into the kitchen where Kakashi was sweeping up. "Hey El Jefe, where am I going to be today?" I asked. "Oh, you'll be at the front cash register."

I hated front cash, I really fucking hated it. The customers that got the wrong meal always come up to front cash. I like the kitchen. Good old kitchen, making sandwiches, getting covered in grease, stealing fries every once in a while. Good Times. Good times. Also, the kitchen always makes your work shift go by so much faster. When you're at front cash, four hours always seems like a monotonous, dreadful piece of eternity.

" I'll have a, have a, uh, Double Cheese Burger." I pressed the button for a double cheese. "No, wait; you have that Buck Double right? What's the difference between that and a Double Cheese Burger?" I resisted the urge to hit. "Well Sir," eye twitch "the Buck Double only has one slice of cheese." The customer stood for a second, looked at the ceiling, scratched his beard, and looked again at me, "Well, I guess I'll get that." I sighed, hit the delete item button, and put in a Buck Double. "Is that all Sir?" "uh, well, uh." I tapped my index finger against the side of the monitor. "Sir?" " Uh, yeah." "Alright, your total is $1.07, that'll be up in just a minute." He furrowed his brows. "What?" He said, speaking a little louder, "$1.07?" "Yes Sir. Is there a problem?" He put both of his palms face down on the counter. " Yes there is, where do you get off charging me seven extra cents?" Really? You want to know? That heart attack you're going to have that the government is going to have to pay for; this is how they pay for it. You dumb, illiterate, jackass.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but the current sales tax in Indiana is seven percent of the dollar, making the added sales tax for one dollar seven cents." He took his hands off the counter and pulled out his wallet handing me two dollars, not wishing to retort. "Here's your change Sir, that'll be up in just a minute." I walked over to the food heater, waiting for Kiba to finish making the Buck Double. His microwave beeped, and he opened it pulling out the sandwich, throwing it on the food tray yelling "Buck Double." I sighed, picked up the sandwich, put it on a tray and handed it to the old, scraggly faced man across the counter. "Enjoy your meal Sir."

Kakashi walked over and rested his hand on my shoulder. He whispered in my ear "He didn't know about the sales tax?" I nodded. He stood back and let out a hearty laugh, making me grin. " Oh for fucking real? Heh. Burger Hell, no place like it." He smiled and looked at the clock, "Damn only ten more minutes until eight." I nodded. I had already been here for three hours and fifty minutes. I looked at him. "So do you get off at eight too?" He slapped his stomach loudly. "YeeAH." I chuckled as his wriggled his eyebrows up and down. "Will you watch drive thru for me for just a sec? There's something I've got to do real fast. " I took his headset from him and watched him as he walked over to the soft serve machine. He grabbed a cone, and slyly walked into the kitchen. He went over to the sandwich counter, grabbed a few onion slices shoved them in the cone, and gently added a few pickle slices, topped it off with a few squirts of ketchup, and set the cone on the counter and quickly walked back up to the front, took the headset back from me, and leaned on the fry counter, watching the kitchen, waiting for Kiba to return. Short spurts of giggles burst through his clamped lips as he heard Kiba walk into the kitchen, his black shoes squeaking on the greasy floor. Kakashi grabbed a small orange book out of his pocket and began to pretend to be reading it, keeping his eyes fixated on Kiba. Once Kiba had reached view of the counter he stopped, looked at the cone, and took a few steps further, grabbing the ice cream cone in his hand, admiring it. Kiba let out a dog-like laugh, his torso shaking, and looked at Kakashi. " MASTERPIECE." He said, and then threw it in the trash. Kakashi let out a childish "Awww." And laughed, smirking at me.

* * *

_I don't know why, but I can't get any good humor in here. I feel as though I should put a suicide alert at the top warning my readers of this story's gloominess. BELUGHGG. :C But hey, this is my first story, and I didn't have anyone to proofread, I did my best, but there are bound to be mistakes. Those damn mistakes. Little bastards. Midget bastards. Midget unibrow bastards. *Eye twitch*_

_Anyways, if you have any tips, REVIEW. I needs the helps. _

_And with the smoking? Who knows. I felt like Naruto needed a bad habit, and I know that smokers nowadays are treated as though they have Leprocy, so it seemed suitable. And he has a mother. Who knew? Maybe I'll come up with an excuse, maybe I wont. OH SHI-, I'm meddling in God's domain.  
_

**What mysterious shenanigans will happen next? No one knows. But It'll be sexy. Sexy, flannel, Burger King, musical sexy. ****And, and stuff. STUFF. **_  
_


	2. Dazed and Confused

Burger King, the ultimate American Delicatessen. Another five hour work shift in the hell hole that provides top notch eatery for white trash.

Naruto walked into the side door of the restaurant, ignoring Ino's grunts of irritation as he walked into the break room, pulling off his jacket, placing it on the floor, and shoving his hat on his head. Naruto rounded out the door, and walked to the front cash register to clock, amused, as Ino began spouting horribly structured sentences of hatred towards "dumb ass customers".

"This woman," Ino said, flipping her hair, "took her medium sized fries and started screaming 'THESE AREN'T FULL ENOUGH' and shoved her bag of food into my hands, demanding a second. So I pulled out the fries, and held them out to her, and explained that that was as full as they were going to get. So, this pink haired bitch took the fries out of my hand, dumped them on me, and drove away. She just fucking drove away, and did you see the crazy fuck with the green leotard and bowel cut? Ha, shit." Ino adjusted her bangs again, and slapped her hands together, letting out a deep guttural laugh. "College towns are crazy. Motherfucking crazy." Kiba nodded along, taking advantage of his opportunity to escape the kitchen for a few minutes to hear Ino rant. Naruto stood a safe distance away, laughing to himself, until he heard the door behind him open.

He turned around and met lavender eyes. 'Lavender huh? Interesting.' He took a minute to view the rest of the person currently shutting the heavy door. This new person, this _lavender eyed_ person, had long obsidian colored hair that reached his lower back. Once he turned around, Naruto could properly read his name tag.

"Neji"

'Neji, I've never seen him work here before, weird, is he new?' Naruto's thoughts were interrupted by a gently spoken "Excuse me." Naruto looked up from the floor, his eyes widen when he realized he had been standing in Neji's way. He rubbed the back of his neck shyly and began to blush, letting out a jumbled "sorry" and moved out of the way. Naruto stared at Neji's back while he typed in his employee number, clocking in.

"So, so Neji,. Are you new here?" Neji chuckled, "I guess I might be still be considered fresh meat after a year, but I doubt it."

"Oh, I see." Naruto flashed a nervous smile. Neji let out another low chuckle.

"I'm guessing you're the new one here?" Naruto nodded his head.

"And, I'm also guessing that you're the one leaving all of the cigarette butts by the bench outside that I like to sit at, unless my nose is steering me wrong?" Naruto's eyes widened. 'Did I really smell that bad?' he thought. 'Shit, I bet mom can smell me on my way home. Fuuck. Fuck fuck fuck.' Naruto looked up at Neji, "Uh what?"

"Your clothes," Neji replied, "stink of chemicals and nicotine."

Naruto flashed another nervous smile and let out a small high pitched chuckle. "Then yes, I guess I am. Haha."

Neji shook his head. "You, fresh meat, shouldn't do that anymore."

"Heh, I'll keep that in mind."

"YOU TWO, STANDING WORKING."  
Ino. She had detected their inert states and began an attack.

"Neji, Naruto, kitchen, now."

Naruto and Neji had turned to crawl into the kitchen when a loud banging of the front door had been heard. That pink haired woman Ino had been talking about, that must be her. Naruto assumed the young Asian man with a bowl cut holding his head in shame following the young woman must've have been the leotard wearing passenger Ino had described earlier as well.

Neji and Naruto watched the dispute between the young college student and store manager from a safe distance away in the kitchen, hidden behind a heating lamp.

"What is this shit?" the young woman with pink hair wearing scrubs said as she violently placed her Burger King bag on the counter. Ino took a deep breath, and turned to face the disgruntled customer. "This," Ino grunted as she picked up the bag, "is a marvelous selection of top quality chain restaurant food."

"Really?"

"Really."

"No."

"Yes."

Muted laughter was heard from behind the food heater.

A sharp cough of warning was issued from Ino.

"Excuse me," the college student pulled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt, "I do believe I demand your full attention as a customer in this situation."

"Okay then, so what's wrong with this 'shit'? As you put it." Ino put the palms of her hands face down on the counter.

"It's shit."

"Really? Is it? Or is it just American quality?"

A deep hearty laugh was heard from the store manager and pink haired customer.

**PAGEBREAK**

Naruto became entranced with Neji's hair. After Naruto had finished making a Whooper for drive-thru, he turned to see Neji's back, his shiny, obsidian hair in full view.

Neji let out a sigh before he pulled off his work cap. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a muted "Fuck." and pulled a hair tie off his wrist, putting it around the edge of his fingers, gathering his hair in the other hand, preparing to put it in a pony tail. Naruto had seen hundreds of people put their hair in pony tails before, but not like Neji. Neji place the pony tail holder about five or six inches from the base of his skull, his hair being ling enough to stay in the tie.

"I hate this."

Naruto looked surprised as Neji turned around. "Hate what?" Naruto asked.

"Having to put my hair up if I'm in the kitchen."

"Oh. I see. Heh, I don't have that problem. See?" Naruto pulled off his Burger King hat and ran his fingers through his hair, grinning. Neji smiled and moved forward.

"Really?" he said smirking.

"FFT yeah." Naruto was now smiling fully, his teeth exposed.

Neji smiled and ran his hand through Naruto's hair, earning a gasp from Naruto. Neji's fingers slowing migrated from Naruto's forehead, to the base of his skull, resting there he scratched Naruto's neck briefly, and removed his hand.

"Hm, looks like you use conditioner. What brand?" Naruto's blush reached an indescribable state of crimson.

"P-pantene."

Neji smirked and let out a chuckle. "I'll have to keep that in mind next time I go to the store."

'What? What is this? This Neji guy?' Naruto was confused and thinking furiously. 'This, this man, he, he ran his fingers through my hair, after having known me for only an hour. What is this?'

Neji smirked at Naruto, blushing and shaking his head. He let out a small chuckle. 'This is going to be fun.'


End file.
